You know how the song goes. It’s the
same as all the other love songs. Love
is always the answer. All you need is
love. Love will keep us together. Love
makes the world go ‘round. Sounds
wonderful until reality hits. Our
definitions, expressions, and
expectations of love are so varied.
Human love is highly flawed because, um,
well—it’s human.
Jesus stated that the greatest
expression of love is to lay down one’s
life for another.
I used to think He was referring to the
fiery stake, the coliseum, or the
foxhole. That’s awfully convenient
thinking for a woman living in
tree-lined suburbia. It has taken twenty
years of marriage, fifteen years of
motherhood, thirty years of Christianity
and countless relationships---but I have
finally begun to grasp what “laying down
one’s life” looks like. Unfortunately,
comprehension does not always produce
desired behavior. The Apostle Paul made
that quite clear. (I do, I don’t, I
want, I can’t…) My love is finite and
not always kind (ask Frank). My love is
often impatient and prone to outbursts
of frustration (ask my kids). My love
takes offense and keeps a record of
wrongs (ask my friends). My love is
often self-seeking and does not
naturally look to wash the feet of
others (ask my pastor). And as I look
around me, I realize I’m not alone. I
don’t need to visit a war torn country
to observe man’s inhumanity to man. I
can watch it at my own dinner table,
during the P.T.A. meeting or in the toy
section of Target. Once in a while, it
can even be observed in the church
lobby.
With all due respect to Oprah, the “I
will love who I want, when I want, in
the way I want…” just doesn’t cut the
mustard. A recent essay she wrote for
her highly popular
'O Magazine' states “I am
through with the toxic behavior that
forces me to do for others what I choose
not to do. I have been delivered from
all that harmful guilt. I no longer give
anything or do anything or go anywhere
unless I want to.” Unless she wants to?
So much for denying one’s self, picking
up the cross, and decreasing so God can
increase. I suppose it’s for the best
that Oprah doesn’t have kids. I can’t
say changing diapers, standing on
sidelines in drizzle, or driving in
circles all day are tasks I want to do.
The duties and sacrifices involved in
marriage also require a large dose of
selflessness. And true friendship that
is not self-seeking is hard to find.
You’re wealthy if you have found one
true friendship.
So where is genuine love to be found?
Isn’t that what most people say they’re
searching for? Reality television,
psychic hotlines, personal ads, and the
like are all straws in the futile grasp
to reach Nirvana. A line from an old
song by a no longer famous rock star
expresses his desperate search for the
real thing. “I’d give everything I
have—all that I own--- for one whole
minute of pure, true love.” If, as a
Christian, your heart does not break for
those who have felt shortchanged in the
economy of pure, true love; then maybe
you need a heart transplant. May the
Lord have mercy on believers who have
ceased to be merciful.
I am far from being an expert in matters
of the heart and I do not claim to be
one who always loves purely, but I do
know where to go to find this ever
elusive, often fabled, poorly imitated
treasure called love. I have discovered
a deep well that never runs dry and it
is my thrill (as well as my purpose in
life) to tell others where to find it.
Look out the window, down the office
hall, into the next car, and around your
kitchen table.
There are a lot of love-starved people
nearby. You may be one of them. Hurting
hearts abound and there are many
imposters who are more than happy to
step up and wreak havoc on these fragile
lives. Sure, there have always been
false prophets at every turn but there
has also always been a remnant of God’s
people who refuse to be silent about
“the well.” How grateful I am for the
cup bearers, the torch carriers, the
prayer warriors, and the burden sharers.
They are not many in number but they are
mighty in stature. I took a lifetime
membership with this group just a few
years ago. The dues are quite high but
the perks are fabulous. I am learning
what real love is and I will never again
settle for cheap imitations.
Turn to the very familiar but
infrequently modeled “love passage” in 1
Corinthians 13. Read it. Read it again
and substitute the name Jesus for the
word love. Encouraged? Jesus is
synonymous with love. Read it a third
time and substitute your own name for
the word love. Discouraged? Don’t be.
You have the rest of your life to become
a great lover of God and of people.
So, send out those Valentine cards and
give flowers to special people while
they are still on this earth. Sing your
favorite love song, enjoy a piece of
chocolate, and allow your heart to
smile. And don’t forget to tell
everybody where that amazing well is and
what it holds. After all, what the world
needs now is Jesus, sweet Jesus. Jesus
is always the answer. All you need is
Jesus. Jesus will keep us together and
it is only Jesus that makes the world go
‘round. God’s love is absolutely perfect
because, um, well---He’s God.
Whoever drinks of the water that I
shall give shall never thirst; but the
water that I shall give shall become a
well of water springing up to eternal
life. John 4:14
